If I am honest, I can say I was quite nervous to conduct my first in (what I hope to be) a series of interviews. I didn't want to say the wrong things, come off as clinical. Those fears vanished as quickly as I began speaking to Sophie. She called herself, in terms of bits of her personality "Morbid" but exuded a light that I cannot begin to fathom into a proper blog approved sentence. It felt like speaking to a friend of years, and years. With that simple wordy exchange and platitudes among her own life story that I was so privileged to hear.Sophie is 20 years old, born on August 27th, and currently resides in Mid-Coastal California. She shares her home with a variety of interesting animals (which we will get back to) and a studio for her art in her garage.
"Probably," she says, "If I am being fair, peculiar, dreamy, whimsical, and morbid." when asked about her personality. I find there is a certain element of grace while speaking with her. Sophie finds the balance between analytical and critical thought while also incorporating the many philosophical questions we face, and gently stirring that with an interest in other beings. Including herself.
"I was raised by two therapists, so my self-analysis is a bit out of control." She says with humor and truth. While discussing our own droughts with stubbornness with our siblings, I say, "Being stubborn isn't a bad thing, it means we're sure of ourselves".
There is a moment of silence I feel from my own end of the screen, three hours ahead of her. But soon, her thoughts are put together.
"I wish it meant I were sure of myself, mostly I think it means I'm afraid of being wrong, so I cling to my opinions and thoughts with a vicious death grip."
I think this statement, while I sat curled up in a too warm duvet, hit home quite quickly. Not only is Sophie a beacon of her own intense light, she is brave enough to simply be human. Accepting that not all our intentions determine our outcomes. Usually, we hide these thoughts from others. Sophie became an open journal for me to skim my fingers over old ink. And she did so with her head held high and her truth before her.
When asked if she feels more introspective than others due to her experiences, she replied; "Oh heavens yes. introspective and analytical. I get into the habit of diagnosing people when I'm not too focused on my own problems."
Personally, I believe this to be a good active trait. Studying further humans. I was shown that this ideal is not shared, but is executed by Sophie flawlessly.
" I do however worry about becoming so entrenched in ego that I lose track of y'know, everything else in the world. Think of all the books we'll never be able to read, the paintings we won't paint, or look at. I love learning more than anything, that's why this illness has sucked so much."
Sophie was diagnosed with cerebral palsy as a child, and openly credits her parents for how they handled her illness and disability.
"I think my parents deserve a great deal of credit. They didn't tell me I was disabled until I was in third or fourth grade. My cerebral palsy is pretty mild but pervasive, I limp when I don't work out, but of course, as a kid I never noticed, partially because I did horseback riding and ballet. But when they told me, my mom said "You can do anything you want. It just will be harder, or take a little longer." So I've carried that kind of support, that kind of mindset with me my whole life."
She was told by her doctors that she would never have a "functional grip" to hold even a pencil. As graceful as she is, and with a fight in her, she studied at Oxbow School in Napa 16 years later and proved them wrong. Sophie creates pieces of art including Impressionist pieces and Surrealist pieces.
She carried on her teachings as a child into her current life,
"The trouble with this disease, is it's something I can't fight. If I try to resist, or push against it, I just end up sicker. I'm a fighter at heart, so the peaceful resistance thing can be difficult. I always come back to that, though, what she said."
Many would think that this disease would leave one isolated, distant. But this is not the impression I gathered from this young woman. From what I can tell, this is a human being that gives love in droves. Our bodies may never be fair to us, but when life gives you those proverbial lemons, bring those areas of gray into your life with kindness and gentleness.
Through out the interview, Sophie was being used as a snuggle buddy by one of her cats. Now, the cats name fits. It fits so well, I am in still in awe of the creation.
Corazone Lucia Valentine, Scourge of the high seas
"She absolutely lives up to the name," she says as we share a laugh or two. Or multiple. I was lucky enough to be told the story of how Corazone Lucia Valentine, Scourge of the High Seas came to be in the arms of Sophie. And it all begins to come full circle.
I was honestly slightly baffled as to how two fighting beings landed with each other in companionship. I mentioned "Sounds a lot like you". And her words were much, much more thought out and poignant.
"Well, she's the first we've ever got that was disabled, she is incredible, but I think I value her more as a role model than a comrade. Because this little thing, is the boss of a house with 5 cats and two large dogs.She hardly even notices her disability. I don't think she cares at all, and you hardly ever see it, she's the most playful and charismatic little thing in the world, it's just sometimes she will wipe out when jumping onto something. Or she'll fall when it wouldn't make sense for a cat with two eyes to, but she always immediately picks herself up and moves on."
"So you do look up to her," I ask, completely in awe of this small yet truly signifigant animal
"Exactly. And she is fiercely independent. she lets me help her, but I don't get to pick her up when she doesn't want to without hearing about it."
"Do you feel like a force of nature?" Is the next question I quite honestly blurt out in her direction, While nearly panicking that I cannot keep up with this brilliant mind put right in front of me. Sophie, of course, answers timely and with what seems to be great joy.
"If I were to, it would be a wind."
I agree. Wind is good, wind is pure. Wind has a direction, and if there is a soul on this earth that has a residing gentle presence, it is that of Sophie. The girl who defeated her doctors odds. Who struggles with self esteem, but pushes forth and gives so much love. The girl who has had a caring boyfriend for five years. The girl who brought a genuine smile to my face just by being herself. If others are storms, Sophie is the wind guiding you home to where you belong.
I wish I could include all of our interview, as Sophie is truly a gift of a human. But I will end this on a very important note. A question I will ask all whom I interview.
Q: You can give one piece of advice to the others that fall into the gray areas of life. What would that advice be?
Answer by Sophie: Not to try to justify themselves by black or white things. To continue to use the metaphor, don't call your life lightish black, or darkish white to suit anyone else's opinion of what your experience should be. A rose by any other word would smell as sweet, but calling it a bouquet won't make it so.
I think honesty to your experience is the most important step in living it, or enjoying it.
Sophie is a true joy, and treasure.
And I was so very lucky to speak with her for such a long time.
Sophie can be found here
- Spencer
REALLY GREAT!!!!
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